Search engines and Thomas Tank

This blogging is a little more complicated than I realised. I didn’t know it was until I read a really helpful blog about how to be a better blogger. That led me to alter a few things in my posts and then chaos followed. Somehow the size of my photos got altered and because I’d updated and saved before I realised this, I couldn’t undo what I’d done. And I couldn’t remember the original layout. Cue row with Mr K (who I introduced in Painkillers and Paranoia) and a big tantrum from me.

So here are my top 10 tips for blogging.

  1. Don’t do it
  2. If you really must do it, write about what you want to write about, not what you feel you ought to be writing about
  4. If you really must involve said partner, don’t ask for their help when they are playing chess on their mobile or thinking about what they want for breakfast BECAUSE IT WILL LEAD TO ROWS
  5. Don’t feel you have to leap on to every idea suggested in helpful blogs about blogging. Pinterest looks good for pinning your blog posts to (at least I think that’s what I have to do), but I now have to decide on five topics so they can create a ‘custom feed’ for me. I really want to have Towie (guilty pleasure, don’t hate me – #sorrynotsorry), Location, Location, Location, Say Yes to the Dress, First Dates and Poldark (oooh, Cap’n Ross!), but should it all about image? Do I go for, Art, Health & Fitness, Modern Architecture, Garden Design and Geek? Those who know me and have read my Painkillers and Paranoia post will know I’m not likely to go for that. If you want to know/guess what I did go for, leave a comment!
  6. Learn all about SEO (search engine optimisation) – the only engine I was familiar with is Thomas The Tank Engine, a firm favourite with my boys when they were little and, to quote Peter and Jane, ‘my electronic babysitter’. It was also a favourite bedtime story, so at least I was being a ‘proper parent’ then
  7. Don’t attempt to write said blog after several glasses of wine when everything seems funnier than it really is
  8. If you do write whilst tipsy/drunk/bladdered (see Painkillers and Paranoia) then you will need to discount tips 3 and 4 and engage said partner, but leave it until you are sober and they are not playing chess or thinking about breakfast BECAUSE IT WILL LEAD TO ROWS
  9. Don’t cry/rage/sulk when no one reads your efforts – if you enjoy doing it, then you are the only audience you really need and anything else is a bonus!
  10. Don’t create ’10 Top Tips’ if you’re a total amateur like me – you won’t have 10 great things to share. But if you really must create ’10 Top Tips’, it will take you the time it takes said partner to finish his bathroom ablutions – which is hours and hours AND WILL LEAD TO ROWS!

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