I’ve never skied. It never appealed to me enough to try it. But I do have friends who ski and I know enough to understand that going off-piste can be a dangerous thing to do.
When I think of dieting I liken it to skiing because going off-plan (for me) is dangerous. Unlike a lot of off-piste skiers, who are fit and technically able to minimise the dangers of doing what they do, I have never learnt the equivalent dieting skills. I think it’s one of the reasons why I am a yo-yo dieter. I lose the weight, go ‘off-piste’ and my eating goes haywire (this is the woman who can eat three full-size Magnums and demolish a whole packet of chocolate digestives all in one go and still want more an hour later!). I have tentatively explored this issue with therapists, but so far it remains unresolved. I’m a trained counsellor myself, so I have my own hunches, but it needs further work and perhaps one day I may go back and explore it again. In the meantime I just want to lose weight before my hip replacement, because that’s what will help me the most at the moment.
This week the temptation to go off-piste came up for the first time since I’ve started Slimming World. Mr K and I had the chance to be together in London for a few days and meet up with some friends. It needn’t have been dangerous with regard to the dieting. All I had to do was keep to the plan the two days we weren’t seeing people and I would have been okay. All I had to do was make wise choices with my food when out and I would have been okay. All I had to do was stay ‘on-piste’. But in the same way that off-piste skiers love the potential danger involved in not keeping to the snow they should, I loved the idea of going off-plan and living dangerously by throwing away everything I’d learnt so far through Slimming World and letting rip. After all, why spoil the habit of a lifetime?
So, I went off-plan and off-piste. Big time. It wasn’t the brightest idea I’ve ever had. It soon became clear that I was in dangerous territory and didn’t have the skills to cope.
The first night with friends wasn’t too bad, but the second involved a lot of wine, and during the day at work it fell apart too.
As a result, I don’t need to see from the scales that I have put on weight, I can FEEL I have and I can’t face getting on them. It’s rare that I don’t face the things that go wrong in my life, but when it comes to weight, I do. My normal tactics when I overeat are to avoid the scales, ignore what’s happening and to keep on over-eating to make me feel better. But this time I’m not going to do those things – at least I’m not going to do two of them (I will face those scales next weekend!).
Instead, I will get back on-plan. Slimming World reassures us that when we go off-plan we just need to accept things haven’t gone well and get back on it and start again. By doing this the weight will come off and we can get back on track.
This is a big thing for me and it’s not proving easy. But I will dig deep and keep going. I always knew that losing weight was going to be tough – that’s why I have been asking for sponsorship. It’s also why I made it public. To be absolutely honest, I had hoped that telling you all would be enough to keep me on-plan – clearly it wasn’t!
So, enough of the wallowing and woe is me. It’s onward and (hopefully) upward (well, downwards for the weight). I have some great support from friends. One of them, Suzy, has lost a lot of weight through Slimming World and she got me some of their hi-fi bars (I’m an online member so can’t get them) so I will use them to ease the chocolate cravings I have. I will also start keeping my SW weight-loss planner again – tracking my food and the number of syns I use really does work.
I have also thrown the peanuts in the bin…
Wish me luck!