I’ve woken up to 2018 feeling a bit ‘meh’ and out of sorts (and no, it’s not a hangover).
As far as New Year’s resolutions go I’m not going to make any, except to say I am going to work on being kinder this year – a judgemental Facebook post on a friend’s feed made me think about this.
But I am going to aim for a better balance in my work/life.
Having had 10 weeks to reflect about this following my you-know-what (you must all be fed-up of hearing about the you-know-what by now, so I won’t mention it) and having had a work colleague nearly die (they are 15 years younger me), it’s really made me wonder what the hell I am doing, and it’s having a bit of a stressful impact on me.
So the ‘meh’ in me today is because I’ve started waking up at all hours (having finally been able to start sleeping on my side after the you-know-what) and thinking about things, including:
- dreading the commute back to London – I haven’t had this long at home without having to go to London since 2005 and I have loved it!
- worrying about how the hell I am going to get anywhere near my personal fundraising target
- worrying about getting money in to run ICP Support – I know it’s not all my responsibility, but I started the bloomin’ charity so I do feel very responsible
- my poor eating habits
- my even poorer drinking habits
- the fact that our landlord has decided to sell where Mr K and I live, so finding a house to buy has now become imperative rather than something we could take our time over
In reality, the last three of those aren’t that important. Getting back in to SW is going to be down to me, cutting down on the booze is down to me, and if the worst comes to the worst we just rent again and suck up another house move in less than six months. It’s fine and no one died.
The first three, however, are biggies (to me).
I am sure that once I am back at work next week it will feel better. But I still don’t want to do it (being in London) every week now. I have some ideas, but need to discuss these with the people that can help make them happen. Wish me luck – it will involve reducing my financial income, but money isn’t everything (I keep repeating that one to myself).
The charity personal fundraising total was completely unrealistic, but I will keep going and do what I can and if you feel inclined to help me then please do!
The charity itself is something else. Yes, I started ICP Support, but it’s not my charity – it belongs to all of us (you) now, so I will keep going and keep plucking up the courage to ask people (I often feel I am being cheeky and intrusive by doing this) to help us achieve our aims of supporting families affected by the condition, raising awareness of the condition and funding research into it. I cannot stress how important the research is, but also how precarious funding for it is at the moment.
And as always there is a silver lining (I genuinely do believe in this adage). Amy Sparkes contacted me this morning to let me know that her book (which we receive royalties from) is being read on CBeebies tonight, and that’s just so amazing for Amy and for us. I am also reminded that we have a fabulous new patron, Helen George, who has had ICP and is very keen to raise awareness of the condition and of the charity (and if you’ve been wondering why we don’t mention the television series she’s currently in its because we aren’t allowed to).
I also know just how many of you want us to succeed! I am always grateful for all the messages of support you post on our Facebook page (and did you know that just following us helps?) as well as the financial support you give us, so thank you ❤
So I will shake off this ‘meh’ feeling in due course and get back to the work in hand because I love our little charity, and whilst we will never be able to compete with the giants among the pregnancy charities, such as the lovely Tommy’s (who we work closely with) I know that we can (and do) make a difference. I hope you will feel inspired to help us to continue to do this in 2018 (and help me get some sleep at night!).
Happy New Year everyone, and I hope that if 2017 was not good for you then 2018 is better.